I first engaged with a therapist around age thirty and saw her off and on for a couple of years. It was life changing as I worked my way through my childhood and then young adulthood to deal with the many bags I was carrying around. Since that time, I have sought out mental health counsel three additional times when my circumstances felt too heavy to carry alone.
While not an overly frequent reader of self-help books, I have read all or parts of many books to gain understanding of myself and awareness of dynamics in my surrounding world. Some of these books have made a tremendous impact in how I think and approach relationships.
As a parent, I have a similar situation with parenting books. There are a few I have used that have been invaluable. I have also attended various talks and facilitated parent discussions through the years that added to my knowledge bank.
Professionally and personally, I have explored many of the personality tests and associated paradigms. I place a high value in the dialogue these explorations create with myself and others in my life. It is beneficial to gain insight into the complexities of how we are wired and how that impacts all our interactions.
Most of my friends could write the same four paragraphs (above) with adjustments to their particulars. We have made self-education a priority. We have all walked life's path with constant twists and turns. We have first hand experience with tough topics.
I am 51 years old. My emotional intelligence quotient is high.
I suffer bouts of moderate depression mostly characterized by too much time in bed and difficulty motivating myself to complete tasks. I have minor OCD where clutter makes me feel anxious. Clutter is defined in many spaces including physical, electronic, mental and relational. While these labels are accurate, I am highly functioning. The outside does not reflect the inside and there is absolutely no one that knows everything spinning in my head. I am one of those people. I am accepting with this essence of my being. I know me and I know to be vigilant to stay mentally healthy.
I have decided that Friend Therapy is what I want in this last half of my life. There is not anyone who does not need a true friend. A friend that listens and does not pass judgment. But mostly a friend that loves you unconditionally. I want to be that friend and I want to have those friends. Thus, I am being real with my friends. I am saying "help me." We will support each other and remind each other that we all have value. We will make time to be together where talking to each other is the only agenda.
It is my opinion that our society places far too much emphasis on achieving perfection. We are flawed. We make mistakes. We show emotion. We say the wrong things. We fail. We experiment. It happens ... all the time ... to all of us. It is part of the beautiful, crazy, exciting motion of life. It fuels change and creativity and when things go well then it is all the sweeter.
I want to share it all with my friends in Friend Therapy. In my amazingly imperfect world there is a mirror for us to share.
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